Celebrating Caroline - Day 14

Memory #14: Benaiah's 1st Birthday

I'd never heard the term "Irish Twins" before I found out I was pregnant with Caroline.

It's a term given to children who are born to the same mother within 12 months of each other.

Caroline was born 16 days before Benaiah's 1st birthday so she and Benaiah are officially Irish twins! :)

It was important to me that we celebrate this milestone in Benaiah's life; and although Caroline couldn't get out of the hospital for the party, she was on our hearts and minds the entire time.

I like making my own decorations for parties, but I just didn't have time to be crafty so it was a bit of a "store bought" party.

We hung oversized balloons in the tree in our front yard...

We made a streamer wall with pictures from each of Benaiah's first 12 months of life...

We decorated his high chair...

And we put a funny birthday hat on his head...

Just look at that Chunky Monkey!

I'll admit, it was a bittersweet celebration without Caroline there with us.

In fact, I'm pretty sure Doug spent half of the party wishing he was at the hospital with her.

It's hard to be in two places at the same time.....

Pretty impossible, in fact, for our bodies to accomplish this.

But our hearts?

They can definitely be in two places at the same time!

My heart is in heaven and on earth every single day.

I love you, Benaiah and Caroline.

The Balloon Project #14

Grammy loves you and misses you, Caroline!!!



Hey, People!

I'm 2 today!



Celebrating Caroline - Day 13

Memory #13:  The Rainbow

We celebrated Benaiah’s 1^st birthday while Caroline was alive.

(More on that later)

After his birthday party, we went to the hospital to see Caroline; and as we were driving we saw this beautiful double rainbow.

“When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”  Genesis 9:16

When we saw Caroline, her eyes were open and she was squirming around more than usual.

It was one of her best days.

The Balloon Project #13

Scot, Amy and Asher love you, Caroline!!!

Celebrating Caroline - Day 12

Memory #12: Caroline’s Room

We fully expected Caroline to come home.

We prepared for her to come home.

We absolutely knew the seriousness of her medical condition.

But we hoped for the best.

We hadn’t finished decorating Caroline’s room when she was born, so we spent many late nights trying to get it ready for her homecoming.

I have a painting that my parents bought me when I was in the 4^th grade of Kathy Thibodeaux who is the founder and principal dancer of Ballet Magnificat.

I dreamed of hanging this painting in my little girl’s bedroom for many years.

So obviously we went with a ballet theme for Caroline’s room.

Doug painted the dresser pink and white.

My mom helped me make the tu-tu dust ruffle and valances.

And we tied lots of pink ribbon everywhere.

A beautiful room for Beautiful Caroline!

The Balloon Project #12

Marc, Diana, Matt, Bethany, Ava, Emmaline, Samuel, Lydia and John Mark love you, Caroline!!!

Celebrating Caroline - Day 11

Memory #11: The Scent of the NICU

My explanation of this memory won’t take long because I’m not exactly sure how to describe the very distinct scent of the NICU.

Perhaps…..

Sterile.

I mentioned before that Benaiah has several doctors at the children’s hospital; but the main entrance is not by the NICU.

Several months after Caroline passed away I took Benaiah to a doctor’s appointment.

The main parking lot was full so I had to park on the opposite side of the hospital and enter beside the NICU.

As we walked past the hallway that leads to the NICU…

It was like I hit a wall…

The scent hit me.

Tears stung my eyes.

I felt like standing in the middle of that hallway and drinking in that smell for the rest of my life.

That sterile, hospital-ly smell will forever remind me of my girl.

The Balloon Project #11

Granddaddy and Gran love and miss you, Caroline!!!

Celebrating Caroline - Day 10

Memory #10: Caroline’s Surgery

When Caroline was 8 days old she had surgery so that a shunt could be placed in her head which would drain the fluid off of her brain.

We knew from very early on in the pregnancy that she had hydrocephalus.

So we knew that this surgery was inevitable.



Before surgery



It was a nerve wracking day for us.

Our 8 day old baby was having brain surgery.

We stayed by her side for as long as we could.

We were with her when they placed her in the incubator for transit to the OR.

We also got to walk alongside the incubator as they transported her.

And of course we were there after the surgery when they transported her back to the NICU.

Things changed that day.

After surgery

Her head shape began to change daily as the fluid began to drain.

And new medical problems began to occur.

For the first time ever, her brain was being given the freedom to function properly.

Ultimately, it would not.

However, we had 12 more days to hope that it would.

The Balloon Project #10

Kim loves you, Caroline!!!

Celebrating Caroline: Day 9

Memory #9:  Seeing Her Name

I don't think that monogramming a child's name on items is as popular in other parts of the country as it is in the South.

But we luuuuuuv our monograms down here.

And I luuuuuuv the gifts I got with Caroline's name on them.

If our house catches on fire, I'm running straight to Caroline's room to save these items - after all the humans in the house are safe of course :)

My best friend Cara made Caroline this li'l blanket, and the nurses let us leave it in the NICU with her.

When the lights started bothering her, they would even put it over her eyes so she could rest.

The blanket got stained from her sweat and all the gunk that was on her head for various reasons.

I'm sure you can guess that we have not, nor will we ever, wash this blanket :)

My friend Charise made her this sign for her bed in the NICU.

Isn't it adorable?!

These two personal items were all the rage in the NICU.

Both nurses and other parents were always asking me where I got these.

From good friends! :)

My sister gave me this precious bow for when Caroline got a little older and her hair got a little bit longer:

And Doug's Aunt Mary gave us this fabulous blanket:

I just love seeing her name.

The Balloon Project #9

Marc, Cara, Jack and Mary Rey love you, Caroline!!!