Celebrating Caroline - Day 16

Memory #16: Caroline’s Right to Life

I have a love/hate relationship with doctors.

I love that they can be used of God to help heal. 

I love this quality about them so much that, looking back on my life, I wish I’d become one.

On the flip side, there are areas of medicine where our technology is so advanced that some doctors get “too big for their britches” if you get my drift.

I had one such doctor.

He wanted to do every test under the sun to see if we could determine an exact diagnosis for Caroline.

After our very first, very stressful visit to see him, we made a decision:

We weren’t going to make any decisions.

At least not while we were at the doctor’s office being “encouraged” to do test after test after test.

We would go home, pray about the decision(s) that had to be made and call him the next day with the verdict.

And EVERY time we left those doctor’s appointments and went home to pray about it,

The Lord said, “Be still.”

Don’t move a muscle.

Don’t do a thing.

Her life is in my hands.

You see – no matter what the outcome of those tests were, our choice was the same:

Life for Caroline

There was actually a point in the pregnancy when, if we had allowed certain tests to be run and they’d come back positive, we could have chosen to terminate the pregnancy.

Do you see this baby girl?

We could have chosen to kill her.

And the crazy thing to me is that we actually have this choice.

Because I don't believe that ending a person's life is a choice at all.

There are people out there who hold the opinion that choosing life for a child who will probably either die or have lifelong disabilities is the wrong choice.

And I WHOLEHEARTEDLY DISAGREE.

Make no mistake.

It’s a HARD choice.

But NOT the WRONG choice.

Our "choice" lead us down a road of no regrets.

Our "choice" gave us peace.

Our "choice" allowed us to have our daughter with us for 20 days.

Yes, we have a lifetime of grief ahead of us because of our "choice".

But let me make this very clear:

Choosing life for Caroline was worth Every. Single. Second.

The Balloon Project #16

Uncle James, Aunt Alicia, Lucy, James Andrew and Anna love you and miss you, Caroline!!!