Celebrating Caroline - Day 19

Memory #19:  Her Burial

Doug and I buried Caroline’s body.

No one else was with us.

It was just her Mama and Daddy.

And it was one of the most sacred acts I have ever experienced.

We’d sought the advice of others whose children had gone before them, and we decided that we wanted to bury Caroline’s body by ourselves so that we could grieve without reserving any emotions like we probably would have had other people been with us.

I would never say that this is how everyone should bury a loved one, but it was exactly the right thing for us to do.

The hospital had given us a burial box so we’d taken it home a couple of days earlier, painted it pink and white and wrote a message to Caroline on it.

Doug carried her casket in his arms from the funeral home to the burial plot and placed it in the grave that had been dug for her.

And I won’t lie.

I wanted to open that box .

I wanted so desperately to see my baby one more time.

But I knew I’d regret it.

I knew what I wanted my last memory of Caroline to be.

And seeing her in that box wasn’t it.

So we proceeded to sprinkle dirt on top of the pink and white painted wood.

We wept bitterly.

We cried out to the Lord in anguish.

We cried out to Caroline with some hope that she could possibly see and hear how much we loved her and missed her so deeply.

And then we sang.

Y’all….

This story could not have a more perfect ending.

Remember how I told you that Doug can’t sing?

Well, no miracle happened that day as we sang our last rendition of “Jesus Lover of My Soul” while we stood over Caroline’s grave.

Not five words had escaped our lips before I was shaking uncontrollably, laughing hysterically at Doug’s off-key singing.

And I couldn’t stop!

So of course Doug sang louder :)

Then I got even more tickled because I could just picture Jesus and Caroline rolling with laughter as they watched the scene that was taking place.

A scene of laughter and tears.

And one of my life’s most treasured memories.

The Balloon Project #19

Pa and Gran Gran love you, Caroline!!!