Celebrating Caroline - Day 7

Memory #7: Jackie Carrillo

While a team of doctors and nurses were taking care of Caroline, Jackie Carrillo was taking care of me and Doug.

Jackie was a part of the Pediatric Palliative Care team.

Our friend Anna educated us on Palliative Care and how their team helps families make decisions when faced with either difficult, long-term health problems or "end-of-life" situations.

Doug and I had strong opinions about when to or when not to sustain Caroline's life with the help of machines and we wanted to be sure our desires were met so we decided to enlist the help of Palliative Care.
When we met Jackie, she assured us that "parents know best"; she encouraged us in our decision making; she documented everything we desired for Caroline; and she gave us her full support.

I was at a routine check-up when some "probing" went a little too far and made me start having STRONG contractions.
I was only 35 weeks along and I wasn't ready.

And I KNEW Caroline wasn't ready.

Specifically, I knew her lungs weren't ready.

The doctors and nurses jumped into action immediately and WAAAAY too fast for me.

I needed things to slow down so I asked if we could just give it some time and see if the contractions would stop.

But they weren't listening to any of that crazy talk so I told them to CALL JACKIE!
Jackie got there quickly, talked to the doctor, probably read some graphs or something and then put her hands on my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Elaine, today is Caroline's birthday whether you like it or not."

I laugh about this scene now, but I was NOT laughing then!
After Caroline was born, Jackie came to see me and Doug daily to check on how we were handling the stress of having one child at home and a baby in the NICU, how our relationship was doing, how well we understood everything that was going on with Caroline, etc.
On the night Caroline died, Jackie came to the hospital to be with us.

We didn't know it at the time but her father had passed away just hours before Caroline went to be with Jesus.

If I'd known this, I never would have wanted her to be there.

But she came despite her own grief.

Jackie, you are a testimony of how to love well and we are soooooo thankful for you!!!

(Lucky you - I can't figure out how to get your photo off the Internet - ha!)

The Balloon Project #7:

David, Anna and Walker love you, Caroline!!!